done with her too...

ok, so i'm done with _______. i have a gut feeling, i'm following it, i'm not down for discussion. i've felt this way about her for a long time. i don't trust her, i'm disgusted by her actions with others, and now she's obviously avoiding calling me and instead placating me with texts that mention how much she 'misses and loves' me. at first i was concerned about my lack of friends, but i now see holding onto her isn't worth it. i was then concerned about what other's would think since she's the one who's so much more social than i am, then i realized i don't give a damn what anyone thinks if they don't know my side.

i'm just tired of trying to hold onto scraps. i am surviving. i can prosper if only i stop setttling. i shouldn't give up any and everything. just shift my focus is all.

anyway, i have a ticket she's paid me half down for and some clothing of hers she probably wants. i'm going to have fun with blowing her off if she comes for either, and i'll have that much less hassle in my life if she doesn't.

one more thing; i'm pretty sure there's some connection with ____ here. that is about as disgusting as a betrayal as someone could pull on me. and from what i know about her and her actions with other men and women, friends and lovers, i wouldn't be surprised. hurt, sick... sure. that's why if i never talk to her again it's no different than how i feel about ____. i can never trust another word out of her mouth ever again. after not getting in touch with me after these past couple of days, i now see her more clearly than ever.