i saw you

last night i had a feeling i would see you. i went downtown to check out a book signing and to meet up with a friend for some karaoke. whenever i'm down there, i hope i catch you while you're waiting for your bus transfer on the way home. this time was no different, but maybe it should have been. when i called your name, you practically jumped, you were so on edge. when i came up to you to talk you practically recoiled. then i saw the severe sadness in your eyes. did i do that? or did you do it to yourself? either way, i don't think it helped my case any to walk up on you like that, especially since i had a friend in tow, and you were buried in your book.

i am having trouble remembering what it was like to feel at ease with you. i'm betting that you have no memory of what the good times were like. you're only focusing on the bad times. what i would do to be able to hold you in my arms and encircle you with pure comfort, safety, and trust. what i would do to be someone who could make you feel loved instead of being someone you feared.

you on the other hand can only leave me alone, because all you can see is a hellish road up ahead. better to turn off at this exit instead of waiting to see if it gets better. you've already passed too many chances to turn off this highway and had to deal with the rough conditions. you don't want to end up in a ditch, flipped and burned.