tired and freaked out

i have such a feeling of impending doom. i emailed my ex again this morning. i then got to work and emailed him again and begged him not to hate me, and to ignore me... eventually i'll get past him and no longer rely on shooting off offensive emails for comfort.

but what to do about running into him, or even worse, running into all the people who know how pathetic i am and are aware of how lame my life has been for years, and is sure to be for quite some time, if not forever. i am so trapped!!!