extensive

right now i'm spending all my money on going to see ____ and travel out east. i'm all about breaking even, but really i'm trying to get ahead. if i can't get ahead from making money at the shows, i need to find ways to cut expenses and make more money while i'm home. the reason being, i need to get out of the hole i'm in debt wise, otherwise i'm trapped in my job. if not this job i have currently, then another job. any job is a trap. i need to travel. i need to create. i need to not have a routine. it's killing my soul.

once i get out of immediate debt and out of default on my major loan, then i have options. my main goal is to travel extensively abroad. either many places all over the globe, or extended stays in remote places. ways i can do this are: save up, peace corps, teach english. it's not very important to me to have children or fall in love if instead not doing so allows me the freedom to see this world before i leave it forever. i have people in my life that i love, and anyone that would enter from this point on wouldn't be very much different from anyone i've already experienced. therefore, more loved ones would mean risking missing out on new experiences and happiness in return for redundancy.

on the other hand, there is a chance that a new loved one may blow away any relationship i've ever had before, and would be worth sacrificing the possibility of extensive travel. however, i find it unlikely that i would meet such a person while i toil away at my job while my soul leaks steadily down the drain.