rejected. whatever.

i went online and found an ad. a personal ad. i cringe as i write this. the same day i was waiting for an answer and getting all excited about the possiblities of the cutest guy out of the ads i saw responding to me, i saw my arch enemy cunt bitch asshole riding beside my bus on her bike with a smile on her lips and her beautiful hair blowing in the breeze. god i fucking hate her. i hate that my ex liked me because i reminded him of her, i hate how she tried to get him back right in front of me. more than once! and i didn't just walk away. i gave him the benefit of the doubt instead of making him prove to me he wanted me and not her. know why? i was afraid of the answer.

now here i am on the bus, barely maintaining my control over sliding hopelessly into oblivion, and that fucking bitch rides by while i don't have a decent bike, much less a car (like she probably does).

i know there are millions of people out there, and she is one of many, but ____ was the man i wanted, the one i wrapped myself up in, and she was the main fucking problem the whole entire time. she was the root of the gigantic weed that sprouted from day one. it grew branches and spit out leaves and sticky, gross flowers that looked like ugly insects. it was poisonious and in my way. it fucked up my whole yard and cracked my cement foundation. fucking cunt. i fucking hate her. i fucking hate what my ex did. i fucking hate that i haven't yet gotten past this.

it is about time that i find a better man, a better goal, a better life. fuck those assholes that kicked me while i was down. i hope they get the same 10 times over from someone they care about that then dumps them after they've been used and abused. they are shit.

oh yeah. the ad... he responded. seemed to really like me. i sent him pictures. no answer yet. funny. if he doesn't respond at all, i was rejected based on my looks, not my personality. and he's not that great. just the best of the fuck ups posting online.

my other involvment (if you can call it that) is a guy that i am 75% older than that reminds me of the ex that i used and lied to. god.