when we broke up the first time, it was because of the fighting. but the second time, there was no fighting. it was out of nowhere. you said it was because of my unfounded constant questioning, but i felt like there must had suddenly appeared a new woman in your life.
when we slept together after we broke up the second time, it was valentines day the next day. you mentioned being invited to a party and not wanting to go, but i got the feeling you really were seeing someone.
when you invited me to go to seattle a week from then, i asked if you got the extra ticket for the show with me in mind, but you said you had no one in mind. when over the course of the week, i came to the decision that going with you would be a mistake because i still was in love with you and you were never going to get back together with me, i figured you'd go alone. but you didn't go at all. if you had started up a new thing with a woman that you broke with me over, it is easy to assume that you were hoping she would go to seattle with you. but either she couldn't or you chickened out on asking her, so after we hung out, you asked me. that could be why you slept with me too. maybe you were still waiting for your first time with her.
i went from being your girlfriend, to the fall-back you were using while waiting for the woman you really liked to finally come around. and all the while you knew i was still in love with you. you knew you were making it harder for me. and you did it anyway. i loved you because i didn't know this was something you were capable of. i suspected it, but those thoughts were so terrifying, i constantly asked you about them hoping you would tell me i was wrong not because the lies were easier than the truth, but because i wanted the truth to be that you would never hurt me like that!!! i was soooooooo wrong!
i hope this woman breaks your heart. i hope you try to get over on her, and she is smarter than i and leaves you immediately. you are sick.
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