never

NEVER WILL I WANT ____ AGAIN. however, IT IS POSSIBLE THAT I COULD HAVE A CIVIL INTERACTION WITH HIM ON OCCASION IF HE WERE TO APPROACHE ME HUMBLED, APOLOGETIC, AND THROUGHLY AND CONSISTANTLY REPENTANT. EVEN THEN, I WOULD NOT COMPLETELY TRUST HIM TO BE HONEST WITH ME AT ALL TIMES ABOUT ALL THINGS. SINCE HE IS SOMEONE WHOM I HAVE FELT SO STRONGLY TOWARDS IN BOTH GOOD AND BAD REGARD, THIS LACK OF COMPLETE HONESTY AND TRUST MEANS THAT I would always FEEL LIKE I WAS ON GUARD OF MY VERY DIGNITY, SOUL, AND BELONGINGS WHEN I AM THINKING OF HIM OR IN CONTACT WITH HIM.

NEVER WILL I ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT OF SOME SORT OF RECONCILIATION WHEREBY HE WERE TO FORSAKE ALL OTHERS AND DECLARE HIS UNDYING DEVOTION TO ME. THE TIME FOR SUCH AN ACT HAS COME AND GONE, NEVER TO APPEAR AGAIN. SOMEONE MAY ENTER INTO MY LIFE, AND THAT MAY BE THE PERSON I WOULD YEARN TO SPEND MY LIFE WITH AND NO OTHER. THERE IS NO WAY ON THIS EARTH THAT ____ COULD BE THAT PERSON NOW AFTER ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED.

JUST AS pertainent, THE CHANCES OF HIM COMING TO ME AND WANTING TO BE WITH ME ON ANY LEVEL WHATSOEVER IS PRACTICALLY NIL. SO WHAT IS LEFT IS THIS: I WILL NEVER WANT HIM, AND HE WILL NEVER WANT ME. IF EITHER HE OR I ARE TO BE IN A FULFILLING, LOVING, LASTING ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP, IT WILL NOT BE WITH ONE ANOTHER, IT MUST THEREFORE BE WITH ANOTHER.