sad all over again

i should be happy. i kissed an incredibly cute boy last night and i really liked it. i really wanted to do a lot more than kiss, but he was being coy and then he was being cautious. i know he was attracted to me. i know he was every bit as into it as i was. but i still feel rejected now that i haven't heard from him. i called him today not long after i woke and left him a message. no call back.
there are many possible reasons why he hasn't called. it doesn't mean he's not interested. maybe he is, but there's something in the way. still, i get the feeling that i came on too strong, as if my excitement looked too much like desperation. maybe i'm acutally desperate, and i just think it's excitement.
anyway, i don't really have the right to get upset. i started out last night flirting with another guy who really wanted to hang out that night. at first i said yes, but then when i saw cute boy showed up, i told other guy some other time. he was persistent, so i said i'd call today. i never did. it seemed all right to consider him at the beginning of the night, but after the intensity of the cute boy and after running over in my head how his mouth and hands and body felt for those moments we were making out, i just couldn't settle for less right now.
anyway, i have been completely frustrated all day. i can't focus on work... mostly because i'm sad. i keep thinking about my ex and how he probably doesn't have to worry about being rejected at all these days. it's like he's got a line of women waiting for him. it's so unfair. or at least it seems that way. i had 4 different men last night pining for me. 3 of them i've known for a long time. the other one just that night. but the one i really went for didn't want to come home with me. didn't call me the next day.
i can keep trying to remind myself he may call later in the week, but my gut is telling me to forget about it and my self-loathing is telling me my ex is having sex and laying in bed laughing with and enjoying the new woman he likes so much better than me.
good thing is this: i haven't felt sexually hungry for months. i am now. i just needed a hot guy to look at and go for. i know there's at least one out there, there's bound to be more.